When you head out to do grocery shopping, run errands, or travel for a business trip does your significant other ever have second thoughts about what you are actually doing?


Does he or she ever go through your emails or text messages? If you are in a good relationship currently, your answer to these questions is probably “no.” It is great, and it is important to preserve this treasure called trust, on both ends of the relationship.

Being trustworthy is something we take for granted, until we do something to lose that trust. We do not realize what a great feeling it is to be able to have our partners’ full trust and support in everything we do. We do not feel the need to verify our day’s events, or surrender emails to our significant others. We can go about our day normally knowing that our significant other trusts us. We do not realize how important this trustworthiness is to the relationship until it is lost.

As stated many a time before, trust is easily lost, and difficulty gained. Once a person does something dishonest or hurts another person, the significant other’s trust may never return to its former level. Not only does this hurt the relationship, but it also affects you.

In order to regain that trust you will have to modify all of your activities so that they can be seen as undoubtedly honest in the other’s sight. It is a painful, tedious process for both parties. The one who lost the other’s trust will be forever proving him-/herself, and the other will be irreparably scarred. No matter how much better the situation may get, there will always be remnants of the pain present.

Instead of living normally from day to day, be proactive by always being considerate of your significant other. Check in with him or her from time to time. Give them prior notice if you must meet someone of the opposite sex in a private place. See how they feel about anything that may possibly come into question later.

If there is anything that you would find suspicious were you in there position, bring it to their attention. They will appreciate the gesture, and it will establish that no secrets are kept between you two. This way, trust is never lost. They will always be able to give you the benefit of the doubt. The relationship will be a happy and long one.

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Step 1-Schedule time together

This time must be regular, like at least once a week, and there should be no excuses for failing to make it.


Work, guys nights out, girls nights out, sport and all these other things have an important place to play in both your lives.

But if you want to fix a broken relationship, then you will need to work at it..and with sufficient committment that when you commit to quiet time between just the two of you that you both fulfill the agreement.

Step 2-Go on Dates

Organise regular dates, just like the old days, with some time apart before the date to create a frisson of excitement like the old days.

Step 3-Prioritize

If you want to fix a broken relationship you will both need to recognize the problem and commit to finding a solution..no matter how busy work is or any other distraction. You need to see putting your relationship back on track as the number 1 priority in your lives for now. Because if you don’t the pattern of behaviour which has led to the fracture will become habit and reinforced and become even more difficult to change.

Step 4-Forgive

You will need to forgive your partner’s failings when he/she is prepared to recognize them and commits to rectifying the situation. Carrying a grudge is a lonely job and will not help your relationship. This is not a one way street and hopefully your partner will take the same attitude and recognize that “hey I am not perfect, but I am sorry”.

Step 5-Recognize the differences between men and women

and celebrate them..don’t let them be a barrier to a loving relationship with someone who was your best friend not so many years ago.

There is a very popular downloadable ebook which has proven to be a huge success in helping people to get their ex back and rebuild relationships. You can check it out here.

For better or for worse, right? The immortal words that ring in our ears when things aren’t going so great, when our marriage suddenly isn’t all roses and sunshine and the person we married doesn’t seem the same.


To have and to hold, for better or for worse can prove to be difficult promises to live up to.

Marital difficulties are fraught with danger for the long term relationship.

There is no clear cut version of advice that can be found. This isn’t like building a shed, or curing a cold. There are no old wives tales or free blueprints available to help you through the hard times. It’s up to you.

But you can give yourself the best chance of success by following these 3 keys.

1. You Have to Try

It’s all about effort. You will get what you put in. Moping around, avoiding your other half, complaining about how it’s not the same, will get you nothing but more hassle and a crumbling marriage around you.

2. Communicate

At times like this, it’s all about communication. A problem that you know is better than one you don’t.

Marriage is not all about self-sacrifice. Just because you get married doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself.

Some people can find that they lose the essence of themselves when they get married, as they are more wrapped up in the idea of being part of a whole.

This can lead to resentment, and once this builds up, it takes a lot to let go of it. You need to be able to trust your spouse, to communicate with them, to let them know that you’re not happy.

You have to want to save this marriage. If you show no effort, no real interest in how it turns out, your spouse will see that too, and things will fall.

At the end of the day, in the harsh light of reality, marriage is a contract that you have to work at.

You took vows, you made a promise, and now, when the going gets tough, it’s your time to show you real commitment to it. For better or for worse.

3. Acquire the necessary skills

Give yourself your best chance of doing so by arming yourself with some basic tools and skills..that can be easily acquired.

There is a very popular downloadable ebook which has proven to be a huge success in helping people to get their ex back and rebuild relationships. It is written by an ex service man who has helped a ton of people to rebuild their relationship. You can check it out here.

The first step on the road to repairing a broken marriage, or relationship, is to be totally honest with each other and recognise that there is a problem.


This problem and breakdown in your relationship will not be addressed by failing to tackle it head on. And this means communication.

Key 1-Honesty

The first step on the road to repairing a broken marriage, or relationship, is to be totally honest with each other and recognise that there is a problem.

This problem and breakdown in your relationship will not be addressed by failing to tackle it head on. And this means communication.

Both of you will need to communicate openly, honestly and freely in order to thrash out the major underlying reason for the breakdown in the relationship.

You will need to address the key points that are a problem for you in your relationship..but you will also need to listen to your partner. And recognise their needs and what they perceive to be problems.

Key 2 -Communicate

Your whole method of communicating can be a major stumbling block in a relationship. The way you communicate after being together for many years can become abrupt and closed.

Unlike the way you used to communicate when you first met and never got fed up of just talking to one another.

Both you and your partner will need to put time aside every day no matter how hectic the schedules are to rediscover your ability to communicate like you used to.

Key 3-Respect

You need to respect your partner’s worldview, although you may not always agree. You will also need to respect the difference between a man and a woman and the huge difference in interests between the sexes.

You should celebrate and embrace this difference rather than letting it stay as an impediment in your relationship.

There is a very popular downloadable ebook which has proven to be a huge success in helping people to get their ex back and rebuild relationships. It is written by an ex service man who has helped a ton of people to rebuild their relationship. You can check it out here.

In this post I give you 3 keys to saving your marriage..whether it is troubled by depression, addiction or if simply, and more often, the thrill has gone. It does not have to be like that.


Key no. 1- Don’t sweat the small stuff

The little things, the little issues, are only symptoms of a bigger problem. You must address the underlying cause of these symptoms and see the bigger picture.

Remember when you first met? The little things were not a problem then..and they should not be now either. If you address the fundamental thing that is gone wrong in your relationship.

Key no. 2- Understand your expectations in your marriage

You must have a good understanding of marriage as not being a fairytale as you are led to believe as a little boy or girl. You must recognise that we are all imperfect human beings and that it is fine to be imperfect..and it is also fine for your partner to be imperfect also.

Key no. 3- Recognise the difference between men and women

You know that book “Men are from Venus, women are from Mars”?
Men and women are intrinsically different and this difference leading to different outlooks and interests sometimes should not be castigated or criticized.

Rather the difference should be embraces and celebrated.

Remember that there are 3 sides to every story..yours, his/hers and the truth.

To make your marriage work, and you will have to work at it, you need to equip yourself with the knowledge and the tools to understand one another.

You will need to embrace the differences between you and see the big picture, the reason why you came together in the first place. And the reason why you want to stay together into the future.

There is a very popular downloadable ebook which has proven to be a huge success in helping people to get their ex back and rebuild relationships. It is written by an ex service man who has helped a ton of people to rebuild their relationship. You can check it out here.

Recognizing you have a marriage problem is the first step along the road to transforming your marriage, and for most couples simply acknowledging there is a problem shatters the marriage myth.


According to love stories, movies, and fairytales we are supposed to live ‘happily ever after’.
But what happens when Snow White develops a drinking problem?

What happens when Robin Hood’s long working hours start affecting his marriage to Maid Marian? What happens when Cinderella says she has ‘fallen out of love’?

We are taught in school how to do sums, how to read and recognize Shakespeare, and how to conduct scientific experiments, but what do we really know about the greatest social experiment of all, namely our ability to keep the love alive in our marriage?

The fact is we know surprisingly little, and from the moment we say “I do,” we are literally flying by the seat of our pants. We don’t get a manual or a textbook telling us how to get it right, so our marriage becomes an evolving set of experiments, learning and discovering more and more about ourselves and each other, and figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Some say if we don’t make mistakes we don’t really learn, but what do those mistakes cost us, and is the cost too high for some couples?

That’s why I have 3 ways to instantly transform your marriage. These are 3 things that you know will work and will help you get your marriage back on track. Let’s call this your error-free way to redeem yourself and your marriage in the eyes of your partner and show them that you are committed to making positive changes in your marriage.

The first key to transforming your marriage is to stop looking at your issues on a case-by-case basis. Couples that try to solve arguments by going into the small details of every argument are never really going to deal with the big stuff. I’m talking about the issues that REALLY matter in your marriage, and the issues that keep coming up in every disagreement.

Spend too much time at work? Partner feeling unappreciated? Don’t make love as much as you used to? Either of you feeling unfulfilled by your lifestyle or the relationship? Is the communication poor in your relationship? Does your need to always be right override the feelings of your partner? Spend less time worrying about the details and more time examining the issues and themes behind your arguments.

* The issue is your job. The theme behind this may be balance between work and home life.
* The issue is you not doing enough chores. The theme behind may be that you are being invited into making a greater contribution into coupledom.
* The issue is your partner being grumpy with you all the time. The theme is your partner needing to feel validated in the relationship

If you have a greater understanding of what the key themes are behind your marriage issues you are better able to develop effective solutions that will really make a difference.

The second key to transforming your relationship is to examine your beliefs about marriage. It’s okay to not have the fairytale marriage. Even the best couples don’t always get it right. But what makes the imperfections good or bad is how you choose as a couple to deal with it. When you disagree about something, do you sit down and talk about it, or is your first instinct to deny that there is a problem and hope that it will all go away?

You need to understand that it is okay to be imperfect. In fact, admitting this to yourself and your partner can be one of the most liberating actions you take in transforming your marriage. Admitting your imperfections exposes a vulnerability that can bring you closer together as you find ways to get some meaning out of your issues. Acknowledging that you do make mistakes can open the door to acknowledging that there is a better way to do things, and one of the lessons we are called into as a couple is finding that solution together. Make a list of things that you have learnt since you got married, and a list of areas that you as a couple can both improve on. Then try sharing that list with your partner and ask them to contribute their thoughts.

The third key to transforming your relationship is in recognizing the differences between men and women, and acknowledging the importance of both roles in the relationship. Just because your partner views something different to you doesn’t make them wrong, and the same goes for you. There are often several interpretations of the truth, and the key to marriage success is in recognizing that women and men have key fundamental differences in the way they view things. For men, their view may be a much more task-oriented approach to fixing an issue, where a woman may focus more on the emotional process as you both navigate your way through marriage issues. While both approaches are different, with compromise they can both achieve the same result.

Write down 5 themes or issues. Then I want you to write down 5 task-oriented ways of trying to solve the situation. Then list 5 thoughts-based ways of communicating your way to a solution.

The first step to transforming your marriage is in transforming YOU. Being married can be scary enough, but having marriage problems and not knowing how to fix them can be paralyzing! All it takes is the ability to step outside your day-to-day issues and look at different ways of viewing your marriage. Every marriage problem invites you into growing and offers you and your partner the opportunity to learn.

Now it’s up to you to take what you have learned and apply it to YOUR marriage. You too can have a fairytale marriage.

There is a very popular downloadable ebook which has proven to be a huge success in helping people to get their ex back and rebuild relationships. It is written by an ex service man who has helped a ton of people to rebuild their relationship. You can check it out here.

In this article I look at a famous relationship help book called “Saving your marriage before it starts” which has amazingly sold more than 500,000 copies since it was first published.


It is of particular benefit to couples who are engaged or are newly wed.

Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts by 2 famous relationship doctors whose main modus operandi is to ask 7 questions to help shatter various myths surrounding marriage.

The main purpose of the book is to equip couples with tools they will need to maintain a successful marriage in these turbulent times. Since it was first published 10 years ago it has been updated and refined through the experience of the authors whose experience and research has ensured that this book has moved with the times.

It is more than just a book because part of the package also includes workbooks for both men and women which allows each person to self analyse through a series of questions and exercises to be carried out.

Also utilized and included are CDs and DVDs which includes the experiences of real life couples and there is also a module dealing with second marriage couples. The curriculum kit includes all these elements in 1 pack but each component can be bought separately.

The authors of this book, as well as being doctors, are marriage counselors and are married to each other and can draw on their own experiences as well as the huge amount of relationship counseling sessions that they conduct each year.

They draw on this experience to help couples make the transition from single to married and with the huge emphasis on wedding preparations nowadays, it is easy for young couples not to turn their minds at all to the relationship into which they are entering.

This book is written by 2 committed christians but it is less a spiritual book than a great tool kit for the building and enhancing of relationships, whether married or not. The use of the DVDs, video, CDs and workbooks makes it a great resource for anybody involved in premarital counselling also.

The book is built around 7 central questions..

1) Have you faced down the myth of marriage with honesty
2) Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear
3) Have you developed the habit of happiness
4) Are you and your partner soul mates
and so on.

If you would like more information on “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts” and see customer reviews, special prices etc you can click here and check it out at Amazon.